Home Study Part 2

Today's home study interview was much more casual and quick than last time.  I didn't feel compelled to organize every closet and wipe down the baseboards, and we allowed the kiddos to hang around the house the whole time we were talking.


When Sylvia (our caseworker) arrived, it felt like we were old friends since, of course, we had divulged every detail and secret in our lives to her in the last meeting.   Pumpkin refused to nap through all the excitement, insisting on changing her doll's imaginary poop over and over in front of Sylvia (who found it adorable).  Peanut and Buddy had their video game time and played outside, often interrupting with important tidbits like, "We have 3 billion dollars saved up in Lego Star Wars!" and "Can we have a snack? Or a cupcake? Or a snack?" 


The funniest moment of the day (and perhaps in the history of Sylvia's profession as a Social Worker) was when Buddy came upstairs: "Mom, there's meat.....in the candle downstairs......but I think it could be poop."  Ding, ding, ding! He was right, it was poop.  Peanut had pooped in her diaper, taken it off, and shaken the nuglets into the white PartyLite candle adorning our family room table.  Total awesomeness.


 Thankfully today the questions were much easier: finances, kids' personalities, our marriage relationship,  our discipline method, and our general parenting philosophy. Now we just wait for our study to be processed, which realistically could take a month or two.  Then we will officially be certified, at which point we start waiting for a placement child (which could take another few months).  


We are sooooooo happy to be finished with this part of the process.  Woohoo!!!

Home Study Part 1

Holy cow!  That was the most intense 6 hours of my life. I am physically and emotionally exhausted.


Yesterday was our first visit for our adoption home study.  The social worker came to our house and stayed from, no joke, 1 o’clock to 6 o’clock.  And we still have 4 hours left to complete next week.


She was very friendly and professional.  She’s 72, been in the same line of work for 50 years, and said she’s seen “everything!”  More than once she also said, “I’m as liberal as they come!” by which I think she meant both liberal politically (there were a few Bush jabs) and extremely tolerant of different lifestyles.  She also mentioned that the process for adopting out of foster care is much more rigorous than international or kinship adoption.  All the children coming out of foster care are “at-risk” and the case workers want to make sure the family can handle the coming stress. 


She asked a million questions.  5 straight hours worth, actually.  Some obvious, others obscure.


Why do you want to adopt? What’s your neighborhood like? Why do you home school? What’s your typical day?  What are your specific goals for your life?  What are your specific aspirations for your life?  What is your religion?  Would you be willing to drop a Muslim child off at a  Mosque on the weekend?  What are your hobbies?  What kind of support system do you have?  How do you celebrate holidays?  Who in your family has had issues with alcohol? Drugs? The law?  Why do you have a “failure to stop at a stop sign” on your FBI report? (Oops!)  How well and where do your children sleep at night?  Do you like your job? Do you raise your voice when disciplining your children?  Do you ever spank? Etc…..etc…..etc……


To the kids: Do you know your mom and dad are thinking about adopting a brother?  Will you share your toys?  Will you share your time with mom and dad?  What happens if your new brother breaks your favorite toy?  Do you know any kids who don’t look like you do?  What will you think if your new brother looks different than you?   


To the last question Buddy smiled, and said: “That’d be really good if he looked different than me, otherwise Dad and Mom couldn’t tell us apart!”  


We filled out a questionaire on our childhood, family history of drug and alcohol abuse, and our marriage relationship.  Then she did a quick inspection of the home.  We were a little nervous since our house was built in the 50’s and we thought we’d need to update the windows or maybe put a door on the unfinished laundry room.  But the only things we need to do before next time is put a lock on the storage room door, buy some more outlet covers, and write out an emergency evacuation plan.


Our next visit is Tuesday.  We will talk about our parenting philosophy, discipline methods, our marriage relationship, support system,  and about each child, including their health history, personality, likes/dislikes, and any behavioral or learning problems.  Oh, and she’ll inspect our vehicles.  


Exhausting and exciting.  But we are almost done………

We rang in the new year last night with a house full of hyper kiddos (5 total), some party poppers, sparkling watermelon flavored juice, some PS3 action, and a movie about an orphaned Polar Bear.  


I was watching my friend's two kids for her since she had to ring in the new year at work.  I know I got the better end of that deal.


Pumpkin passed out first at around 10pm (WAY past her usual bedtime) and we lost the boys to slumber at 10:30. But the girls were obviously new year's enthusiasts because they actually made it until 12:15am.  


And I'm sure, like most parents across the world this morning, I had hopes of children who would sleep in. But instead I was awakened by Peanut poking me at 6:15am and asking for a movie.  


"Are you kidding me?!?!" I asked.  I went downstairs and found all the kids sitting on the couch, wide awake.  The boys had woke up at 6am and decided to sneak downstairs to wake up the girls.  Happy New Year to me. 


Two cups of coffee and "Despicable Me" later, I'm in a much better mood.  And hoping that today's start of 2012 is not indicative of what the rest of the year holds.  


In the midst of my frustrations with my children this morning, I remembered a poem I read on the side of a tea box once.  Today I will be printing this poem out and posting it in my kitchen.  I think this will be one of my resolutions for 2012.




If I Had My Child to Raise Over Again 
by Diane Loomans


If I had my child to raise all over again,
I'd finger-paint more, and point the fingers less.
I would do less correcting and more connecting.
I'd take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.
I would care to know less and know to care more.
I'd take more hikes and fly more kites. 
I'd stop playing serious, and seriously play.
I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars.


I'd do more hugging and less tugging.
I'd build self-esteem first, and the house later.
I would be firm less often, and affirm much more.
I'd teach less about the love of power, 
And more about the power of love.


Happy New Years!

Little Girl, Big Changes

My sweet Pumpkin transitioned from her crib to a big girl bed last week. I had no intention of moving her quite yet, but when I needed to move a bed out of Buddy's room to make space for bunkbeds, it seemed easiest to put the extra bed next door in baby girl's room. As soon as she saw the bed, she was excited. A huge grin covered her face and she made sure everyone (brother, sister, Daddy, & Dog) knew, "Baby sleep big bed!" The first night I had low expectations, tucking her in and assuming she would get out of bed no less than 100 times because, well, she could. But she did not emerge from her room even once. I guess she was ready.......even if this Momma was not.

And tonight, at 2am precisely, is our little girls 2nd birthday. I am so incredibly thankful for the gift of sunshine God gave us in our little Pumpkin:)

Christmas Traditions: Watson Style!

I know I missed this post in time for Christmas 2011 (oops!) but I thought I'd publish it anyway. And who knows, maybe someone out there in the blog-o-sphere will be inspired for next year:)

  Top 10 Watson Family Christmas Traditions: 

1)Pick out a REAL Christmas tree. No budging on this one. 

2) Pick out an ornament- something that represents them- to put on our tree. So far we have lots of doggies and ballerina's, an angel and a robot, Yoda, a train, a beach ball, a butterfly and a Pumpkin, to name a few. When they're grown and leave us to start their own families, we will send them off with a box of ornaments from their childhood.

3) Christmas Cookies. Of course.


4) Make Jesus a Birthday cake and sing "Happy Birthday to Jesus". Sometimes I think kids need a literal reminder of the real reason we celebrate.


5) See Santa turn on the lights in Downtown Littleton. It's usually cold and crowded, but quite amazing. A fun small-town-nestled-in-the-big-city tradition.

6) Look at lights. In our jammies. With hot chocolate. And Starbucks coffee:)

7)Advent Book. This was a new tradition we started this year. We read a chapter in "Jotham's Journey", a descriptive and inspiring story about a boy who lived during the time Jesus was born, every night before bed. GREAT way to focus on Jesus for the weeks leading up to His Birthday.


8) Unwrap and read a Christmas book every day of Advent. This idea was inspired by my friend Dana. You wrap up all your Christmas books and let the kids pick one each night to unwrap and read as a family. We did this at the same time we read "Jotham"- right before bed each night with the candles lit and snuggled on the sofa. Awesome Memory.


9) Jesse Tree. This was another new tradition this year, but one we will absolutely continue. Every day of Advent, we read a verse and placed an ornament on our tree (which I clearly made myself). The ornaments start with Creation and trace the lineage of Jesus- from Adam, to Noah, to Isaiah's prophecy, to Joseph's family line- all the way to Jesus' birth. Very meaningful.

10)Christmas Eve Candlelight Service. Sure it's crowded, and usually hard to squeeze into the busy holiday schedule, but once we get there it is always worth the trouble. There is something very reverent and inspiring about worshiping Jesus (with Christmas lights twinkling and candles glowing)the night before He came to earth...as a little baby.... and changed the world forever.

Merry Christmas!

A New Addition......

A friend at the gym asked me the other day, "Signing up for any marathons this year?"

"No", I responded. "Not planning on it."

"Oh, I bet you'll be signing up for another one before you know it! They're addictive and you LOVE to run."

He has a point, I thought. And yes,I would have already signed up for at least one marathon, a few triathlons, and a half ironman, if life wasn't taking a different turn for our family this year.

We're adopting. And after all the hours of training, wisdom of those who have gone before us, and some gentle nudging by the Holy Spirit, we've decided that 2012 needs to be dedicated to our family. We're scraping every activity, commitment, and hobby off of our plates that we can possibly live without. Instead our days will revolve around helping our new son and our biological children adjust to a new life- as a family of 6.

We've chosen to adopt out of the Denver County foster care system. And in our perfect vision for our family, he would be a 2-4 year old male(and my husband is hoping for a boy of African-American ethnicity). But honestly, we won't know until we know until we know......

I've been assured (again and again and....again) that it's going to be hard. In fact, I'm pretty sure that the main priorities of those who train prospective adopting families are:
1) Make sure they know it's not easy.
2) Help them lower their expectations.
3) Tell them it's going to be really hard.

Children who come out of foster-care, orphanages, or any less-than ideal start in life will have experienced trauma. A good rule of thumb is, the amount of time a child spent in a traumatic situation, the same amount of time will be needed to deal with the trauma. Professionals say you can expect the child to be about half the age developmentally as they are physically. So adopting a 4 year old is really like adopting a 2 year old.

But despite all the warnings and the setting aside of things (like races) that are important to me, I am beyond excited for what this next year holds for our family. The kids have been anxiously waiting for "Brother" for the last three years and I think we are all getting more excited as the "gotcha" date moves closer and closer.

So when exactly will Brother become a part of our family? That is a question that only God can answer, but my best guess is sometime this spring. We still have to do the homestudy, but we were told by Denver County that we should expect to be certified in 6-8 weeks.

The bunk beds are up and now we are all just waiting.......

Finding Rest

In motherhood, like in marathon training, consistency is important. Having an established schedule, fitting in all the pieces you need to fit in, and finding the craved balance between work and play and learning and rest.

Rest. More than any other aspect of my training, resting is what I struggle with the most. Only after I've done my intervals, pace work, cross-training in the pool and on the bike (tri season is approaching, afterall) and clocked my long run, will I allow myself to have a rest day. If I still have things unfinished, speed workouts un-run, hills un-climbed, then I feel like there's a little stress ball sitting on my shoulder and chiming in my ear all day, "You know you still need to...."

The same is true with my children and home life. There are meals to be prepared, minds to be schooled, parks to be played on, books to be read, laundry (mountains worth!) to be done, and dishes to be washed.

Last week, some horrible decisions were made in my home. The dog, after rolling in the mud (followed by the dead grass) decided to sit on my white couch. Thomas, armed with a sword and Hulk-hand, decided to thwack his sister with all his might. Anna decided she'd learned enough math to suffice for the rest of her adult-life and then decided to throw an all-out fit to let the world know of her decision. And Lily, sweet Lily, decided she would spend the morning sitting on the floor (next to the newly muddied couch) and scream....and scream....and scream.

It was in the midst of this noise and mess and chaos in the living room, that I declared a Rest day for the Watson clan. The little stress ball, attempting to protest, said, "But you still need to.....and they still need to...."

"No." I calmly (can you believe I stayed calm through all of this?)said. "Today, we will rest."

It was a lesson learned the hard way, but it was a lesson learned none-the-less.